Alyssa’s Blog…a modern day diary of the random thoughts of Alyssa Amsbaugh

I say that because, once again, I was asleep, I really had to pee, and I had a dream where I really had to pee but couldn’t find a bathroom! Eventually the message got to my brain to WAKE UP, GET UP, AND PEE! Thank God! LOL I know I’ve had this dream before because I recognized components of it. It really is amazing how the human body works, isn’t it? What a connection to make. MY BODY SENT A MESSAGE TO MY BRAIN FOR ME TO WAKE UP!

And speaking of amazing, it’s ALSO amazing how the moray eel’s body works. I watched a program last night that taught me a thing or two about a thing or two…that the moray eel has A SECOND JAW IN ITS THROAT. It looks like something out of the movie “Alien.” It’s incredible. The first toothy jaw grabs its prey and, at that point, THE SECOND TOOTHY JAW SPRINGS OUT TO LATCH ONTO THE PREY AND PULL IT IN AS IT RETRACTS. What a brilliant design. Who knew? Here’s some additional information I found online:

“‘It looks like a funny pair of forceps with curved sharp teeth,’ said evolutionary biologist Rita Mehta, lead author of the research, which appears Thursday in Nature. Before the discovery, scientists thought that all aquatic predators swallowed their prey using suction. By dropping the lower jaw and creating a flow of water into their mouths, they draw in the prey. The two species of moray eels studied by Mehta and Wainwright are the first examples of an alternative feeding method. Instead of sucking, one of these eels bites its prey with its primary set of teeth. It then draws the second set of teeth into its mouth by contracting long muscles. The secondary jaws clamp down on the prey, allowing the eel to move its primary jaws forward in a gulping motion to take in more of the prey. The two sets of jaws take turns until the whole animal has been swallowed.”

OK, class dismissed. That’s all I’ve got for this morning. I’m going to watch “The Horror of It All” now. It should be an old B&W movie featuring Pat Boone of all ppl. He plays the fiance of some British girl (or ghoul?) and meets her creepy family @ their mansion. It’s categorized as “horror” but I find that hard to believe. The all-American, clean cut Pat Boone in a HORROR flick?!? If so, it’s because he would be the perfect foil for a creepy family. I’m relatively sure this movie is going to stink and that’s great because I’m a sucker for this type of “B” movie! LOL After all, one of my favorite Christmas movies from my childhood IS “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”…a B&W (and slightly colorized) flick from 1964. What can I say? I’m the Godzilla generation…scifi is in my blood!

That’s what I found out when I checked him out online. But why did I check him out in the first place?

I was listening to Howard Stern (just as I do every day on my way to and from work) when mention was made of Chuck Zito. Chuck WHO? Other than on Howard’s show, I had never heard of him before. Apparently he’s some sort of bodybuilder. Maybe he’s a bodyguard? Who was in some movie(s)? And now has a show on Sirius satellite radio? idk.

Anyway, Howard was raving about how Chuck is a real “man’s man” and how successful he is with women. Then he played a little bit of Chuck’s radio show where Zito was telling the tale of how yet another woman he just met ended up in bed with him.

Curiosity always seems to get the best of me, so naturally I had to do a Google search when I got home to see if Chuck Zito really is “all that.” After all, when I looked up porn star Nick Manning, he did turn out to be somewhat handsome. (Mind you, I don’t watch porn. The only reason I know his profession is because he talked about it on Howard’s show! LOL And I only looked him up because Robin was drooling over him.)

Anyway, imho, it seems that Chuck has over-developed muscles to go along with an over-inflated ego. omg, how I hate the latter. So that said, I can’t imagine who would jump in the sack with him, let alone upon a first meeting, but I guess it takes all kinds. No offense, Chuck, but you just aren’t my cup of tea.

YOU do a Google search and YOU be the judge!!!

Oy. Well, that would be me. I can’t keep my stretch-band watch on in one place on my wrist anymore…it keeps slipping down and twisting around.

Good thing men really admire a svelt wrist. At least I have THAT going for me! LOL

omg, I couldn’t help myself this morning.

I got into a LITTLE bit of trouble yesterday with an e-mail that I sent to a friend from work. It was completely innocent. I had to laugh when that friend laughed and told me how I ruined their morning by implanting an image in their head.

Well, Day 2, and this one isn’t innocent! Am doing that e-mail one better by sending a picture to help ingrain that awful image.

I’m a stinker, ain’t I? LOL BUT I CAN’T HELP MYSELF!

LOL I laugh when I say that because SOME ppl would ask, “WHAT tan?!?” Well, there IS a difference in the color of my arms up to my shirt sleeve line and that difference is fading, hence I had a tan! LOL (Hmmm, must be a redneck tan.) WHATever!

Not that I was necessarily HIDING this from my husband, but I did purchase 2 pairs of super hot shoes on clearance sale @ Marty’s Shoe Store in Hackettstown, NJ. While the Marty’s chain WILL live on, this particular store is closing its doors forever. Everything is one-third off.

Anyway, I took advantage of the incredible sale to get him a pair of winter boots and me 2 pairs of super hot heels…one black (because I have a “thing” for black shoes…can never have enough of them) and the other tan snakeskin.

Naturally I brought one of each of these pairs into the office to show my girlfriends. Now here’s the part that even I don’t get. SOMEHOW THE BAG WITH ONE SHOE FROM EACH PAIR MADE ITS WAY TO HIS CAR! And apparently I forgot it in his car because he came in the other night with the bag and was like, “Uh, do you know what this was doing in MY car?” (omg, how hysterical would it have been if I had said “No!” and then asked him who they belong to?!? I know I have a wacky sense of humor, but I would have gotten a huge kick out of turning the tables on him like that!)

LOL So anyway, while I wasn’t exactly advertising my purchase, I HAVE been found out…and apparently I RATTED MYSELF OUT! omg, it’s too funny…and typical.

I knew it was cold (CORRECTION: a frigid, arctic, bitingly cold 27 degrees F) last night, but I didn’t really give much thought to snow. I figured we’d probably get some ice, but snow?

Well, it did it again…so this is our second minor snowfall of the season. Now if only I could find the car brushes! LOL God only knows where they are. At least I’m not on my way to work this morning. That’s what happened the last time and I couldn’t spend time on a proper search of the basement. Wish me better luck today!

I MUST get to ShopRite for laundry detergent, dryer sheets, lunchmeat, bread, milk, and paper plates! LOL I have that “through rain, sleet, or snow” shopping mentality, so it’s a given that I’ll be successful. ;>

UPDATE

Mission accomplished! I made it to the store and back before many other ppl ventured out. Our laundry is safe for another day! Now if only I could talk my parents out of going to that church dinner this afternoon. It’s icy out and I can just see one of them falling and breaking some bones. Mom said she’ll think about it (staying home). Oy.

UPDATE TO UPDATE

Phew! Since Mom heard that we were experiencing an ice storm and the weather would be worse by 3:00 p.m. (when the church dinner would let out), my folks opted to stay home. Both of them are in their 80s and in very good health (thank you, Jesus!), but I worry when they want to go out in slippery weather. They’ve both fallen before, Dad more so than Mom. Needless to say, I’m relieved they stayed put.