Alyssa’s Blog…a modern day diary of the random thoughts of Alyssa Amsbaugh

I don’t get it. Isn’t stink bug season over yet? There are STILL stragglers in my house. Where are they getting in? And what the hell are they eating?

OK, let’s make a correction. “There are STILL stragglers in my BEDROOM,” which means I have a no-tolerance policy.

Now normally I have a little mercy toward bugs. If they are harmless and I can catch them, I do so and toss them outside. UNLESS they invade my space. Meaning maybe land on my face? And anything that can land on me while I’m asleep (or rappel down into my face as I blow dry my hair, much like the occasional spider does) has to go.

Found one dried-up stink bug carcass clinging to the lace curtain that hangs on the window facing the headboard. Was happy to discover it was dead. I gave it a no-gun salute as it swished down the toilet to its watery grave.

Now the other one, I’m not so sure. When I turned on the lamp on my nightstand, WHOOSH!, some stupid bug went flying across the room. Which is what started this whole damn investigation in the first place. I KNOW it’s stupid because it made a huge CLUNK when it HIT THE WALL and then fell on the floor. Dumb-ass bug. This one deserves to die. Since it made so much noise when it hit, I figure it’s the large, well-armored, dim-witted, and APPARENTLY SHITTY-FLYING stink bug.

I found one on the floor and it looked dead, but it could have just been playing dead. idk. I usually find out once and for all when they hit the icy water of the toilet. Correction, make that “the icy water of the automatic indoor wave pool.” And to be honest, I just woke up and am still operating on remote control so I didn’t pay much attention to its struggles or lack thereof.

Yep, put another notch in my belt, these here parts are now a wee bit safer for the likes of me. FYI, I’m going back to bed now. But I am armed and dangerous. You have been warned, dumb-ass stink bugs of the world. THIS HERE TOWN AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US!